Operation Too Much: An Undercover Mission
Five Prompts to Inspire Your Outfits this Week
In my local Marks and Spencer, amidst a large collection of holiday attire, is a truly fabulous jacket. Displayed on two mannequins, it is a little bit cropped, a little bit square, collarless, and covered in silver sequins. Last week, I saw the jacket being considered by two women simultaneously.
Each woman had found her size in the rack and was inspecting it: holding it up to her body, looking at the lining, and shaking the sequins to catch the light. Both women seemed enamored and seemed likely to purchase it. One woman appeared to be in her twenties, the other in her 70’s.
Seeing these two women, in two different stages of life, looking at the same jacket, delighted me. Where might they go, so fabulously dressed? Maybe a party, a holiday concert, a fancy dinner? Maybe, while considering this jacket, they’d locked eyes, and had a friendly meet-cute, then went out together, each wearing the jacket, walking sequined arm in sequined arm. But quickly, the Nora Ephron-esque holiday montage running through my head took a moodier turn.
Come January, would either woman wear the jacket again? Or would it be shoved in the back of their closet until next December? Would they visit the jacket sometimes, almost consider wearing it, but put it back because it just didn’t feel appropriate, knowing that if they wore it, they’d be opening themselves to some level of scrutiny? Most of us are forced to intermingle with people who prioritise blending in, people who worry about what others think, who would never want to be considered, “too much.” And, often, these self-appointed deacons of normalcy feel the need to comment:
“Why are you so dressed up?”
“Are you going somewhere after this? Oh, I just didn’t know why you were wearing that.”
“We’re going out, but it’s supposed to be a casual thing. Thought you should know.”
“You always try so hard. It makes me feel bad.”
“Well, aren’t you stylish?” (not a compliment, often followed by an eye roll from the speaker.)
“Oh, you’re all dressed up. That’s cute.”
“I would never be brave enough to wear that.”
I suspect, if you subscribe to this newsletter, you’ve been on the receiving end of one of these comments. They all boil down to the same concept: you’re too much, you stick out, you’re different, and that makes me feel uncomfortable. These comments reflect more about the givers than the receivers, but still, it’s difficult to be critiqued, even more so when it’s in public.
While all of this played out in my head, I realised that December gives those of us on the “too much” end of the fashion spectrum an opportunity. Right now, everyone is “allowed” to wear sequins or loud knitwear. This is the perfect time to practice, to wear all of the styles that we have toned down, but really feel authentic to us. Then, when everyone else retires their sequins for the year, we’re experienced and confident in our style, and ready to face whatever comments we might receive. Is there something you’ve stopped wearing over time? Have you quieted down your way of dressing, but miss your natural, boisterous style inclinations? Shall we embark on a secret “too much” mission?
(Also, to be clear, “too much” doesn’t only mean covered in sequins. Perhaps what you’d really like to wear is head-to-toe black every day, but started adding in other neutrals after the 9th person in their distressed denim asked you if you were going to a funeral. Embrace your gothic chic! Maybe you want to wear 8 necklaces everyday, or vintage caftans. The idea of the prompts is to bring back the side of yourself that you’ve put away in a neat little box, and it’s humming away, bouncing off the walls inside, waiting to be released.)
In your formative style years, when you started choosing your own clothes and considering your style identity, what kooky or off-the-wall style did you love? Can you test out this style again? Can you modify it, modernize it, to reflect where you are now?
What is something you’ve purchased for yourself that you consider irreplaceable? Irreplaceable is often synonymous with something of sentimental value, but for this exercise, it isn’t. This should be something that you chose for yourself. Can you wear it this week? What does it represent in terms of your personal style?
Do a tech scavenger hunt. Look through your saved posts on social media, your screenshots, the things you felt compelled to send to a friend with a “so cute!” caption. What similarities do you see? What does this expedition show you about your ideal state of style? Can you wear an outfit that epitomises this trait?
Research a “too much” celebrity or public figure that you don’t know much about but find intriguing. What parts of their style, their actions, their art, was criticised as too much? What kind of outfit does this research inspire for you? (As a note, I don’t think you need share an aesthetic with whomever you research, but that’s also a decision for you to make.)
Finally, do something that sounds extremely mundane: make a schedule. Look at the events you have coming up, and make a plan for each one. Each of these events are opportunities to practice wearing what you’d really like to be wearing. Can you try out a different style at each one? Or would you prefer a growing approach where each outfit gets more and more grand (and authentic!) as the month progresses?
As always, please let me know if these prompts inspire an outfit for you. I’d love to see it! What is your version of “too much”? What kind of comments have you received about your style?
Wishing you a week of outfit compliments!
Your friend,
Rebecca